LESSON # 1: How To Earn The Respect Of Any Given Hard Hitting Gang

Preface:
This earth is polluted by deadly gangs that will end your life at the drop of a hat. One must therefore, create alliances. To do this, you simply need to earn the respect of any hard-hitting gang. The easiest and most effective method is to off a group of the select gang's enemies. The method for such is as follows.

STEP 1:
Smoke a large quantity of PCP. Doing this will give you the courage to face such dangerous foes.

STEP 2:
Acquire a bear suit (with open face bear helmet), as well as 8 bullet proof vests, and 8 razor sharp steel claws..

STEP 3:
Locate the nearest Arbies.

STEP 4:
Use the Arbies' restroom to
a. line your bear suit with the bullet proof vests
b. attach steel claws to bear suit hands/paws
c. change into bear suit and bear helmet
d. paint your nose black

STEP 5:
Steal a bicycle from a distant, pre-pubescent female relative.

STEP 6:
Ride your newly acquired bicycle to the nearest "projects" where your targets reside.

STEP 7:
Pick a fight with your foes, and allow them to commence their attack on you.

STEP 8:
Allow foes to beat on you for a bit (worry not, for the bear suit should protect you from injury.)

STEP 9:
Play dead for 5 seconds, then commence frantic and uncontrolled flailing of claws, slashing deep into the skin of your foes.

NOTE: These last few steps need to be initiated with great speed and lack of hesitation, because this is the point where your foes, will more then likely decide that it has come time to put a few bullets in your ass.